I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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