Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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