I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize