Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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