Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
