if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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