this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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