My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
