Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
