just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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