Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
