her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
