So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
