I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize