i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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