Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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