Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
