did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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