never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
