when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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