I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
