Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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