All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
