u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
