went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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