First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
