I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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