allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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