just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
