I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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