What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
