tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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