it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
