Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
