isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
