You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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