apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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