No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
