So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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