theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
