Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
