I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
