i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
