I love black thongs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
