it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
