you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
