This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
