he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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