I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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