Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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