After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
