I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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