oh god the rape fog is back!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
