just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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