...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He better not be in your backpack
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
