Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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