He disabled his match.com account in front of me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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