Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We left an ass print on the piano.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
