brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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