Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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