So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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