True but thats because hes a fetus.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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