so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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