best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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